Do you ever have those sudden realizations, in the middle of frantically pining to finish each little to-do check box, of "holy frick, I am a MESS"? Certainly it can't be just me.
Yesterday I found myself in a frenzy of sorts.
To help you get into my crazy lady mind, here is a fun look at yesterday's to-do list:
1. Start and finish school assignments
2. Work on writing a paper
3. Work for 7 hours
4. Fit in a workout
5. FINALLY write my first blog post (obviously this happened a day late)
6. Clean the house
7. Walk my dogs
8. Hang out with my friends
First glance, it looks like a normal, everyday to-do list. But if you think about it, I mean really think about it, it would take a superhero on 10 cups of strongly-brewed coffee to get all of that done within the waking hours.
But me, imperfect, stubborn me, decided to tackle it ALL head on. My non-existent attention span had me all over the board; work for 30 minutes...get distracted and start pinning to my Pinterest boards...scroll through Instagram and somehow end up online shopping...but OH NO, the floor is dirty, I must drop everything and spend an hour vacuuming...get distracted halfway through by the thought of my schoolwork remaining untouched.
On and on we go, jumping from one task to the next, leaving the last one unfinished. (HOLY MOLY - Just typing that out gave my anxiety!)
Finally, my work day has come to a close. I felt so terribly unsatisfied by my lack of to-do list accomplishments.
By the end of the day I was left with: Hours of work left to do, a half-vacuumed floor, a paper with only a title (What I learned in boating school is....), and don't even get me started on that workout #nonexistent.
Amidst the whirlwind of running around in a rut, getting nowhere fast, God spoke to me so very clearly.
Dolce, read the Bible.
Suddenly, my mind shushed its buzzing. I grabbed my bible, made a cup of hot herbal tea, and cuddled up on the couch.
"This is the first productive thing I have done all day,"
I let myself have a good laugh as I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked all day. Y'all, I was on the #HotMessExpress.
I could have felt shame. Shame that I went my whole day without acknowledging God. Shame that I am naturally unorganized. Shame that I cannot be like the women I have met and see on social media, who seem to have it all together.
But no! I said "Not today Satan"! I am so very loved. God planned my every quirk, every step before time began. Heck, I am the daughter of the King!
I am a mess. And Jesus loves me all the same.
So what is the point of me telling you this?
I am sharing this story to encourage you. To encourage you to put Jesus as number one on your daily to-do list. To realize that your faith is truly the only thing that will last the test of time.
The rest of the items on our to-do lists are inherently good, even wonderful. It is GOOD to yearn to work hard, take care you your body, and make money. But if we keep a death-grip on those things, not allowing God to have his very worthy place, that is when destruction happens (AKA you have a day like mine). When we cling to these things to give us purpose and direction, we find ourselves at the end of each day feeling more dry than the next.
I am also sharing my story with you to share to good news of Jesus' perfect love. His love transcends every mess up, every heartbreak.
Sisters, we are hot messes sometimes. That is nothing new to you, I am sure. We have jobs, school, friends, boyfriends, husbands, kids, and hobbies. It is a busy world we live in. To make matters worse, society tells us that as women, we need to be perfectly groomed 24/7 while holding a house and life down at the same time..oh and don't forget to smile while do it all. *eye roll*
Our lives are messy. And I don't care how flawless a women may appear on Instagram, I bet you she is struggling just like you and I.
But, sisters, God doesn't call us to a life of perfection. He calls us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 12:30-31). Sweet and simple, God simply calls us to love Him with all we've got and pour the love He's so beautifully poured into us and pour it all into those we come in contact with. We are to love in every circumstance and follow where He leads us. No where in the Bible does he command us to be perfect. That is His job.
As a friend of mine once said during a talk he gave "We cannot settle for a full calendar and an empty heart,". I don't know about y'all, but that hits me right in the heart.
Friends, maybe you've stepped onto the Hot Mess Express with me a time or two. Maybe you've been a passenger for a good while and you're on a first name basis with the staff. If you get anything from this post, please remember that Jesus loves all of you, your strengths and your weaknesses. He even teaches us that a ride or two (or one hundred) on the struggle bus is inevitable: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33).
My beautifull friends, let us equip ourselves with God's power and His word. Surrender your daily activities to Him, pray that His will would be done in every aspect of your life. You are not alone in this fight, we are in this together. And I am so very excited for the adventure.
Much Love, Dolce